Most people you will encounter will be generally good. Everybody has a few unfortunately negative moments due to stress, worry, or a lack of awareness, but most people will successfully become positive influences upon you, whether you realize it or not.
Unfortunately, there are some people around who are toxic. Many of us end up befriending a toxic person at one time or another, even going so far as to marry them occasionally. They usually cannot tell that they are negatively affecting those around them. Rarely, people will call them on their behaviors and effect a positive change. Most of the time, however, they will continue living without a clue as to how badly they are acting.
If you are concerned you may be a toxic friend, then this is the guide to read. I will talk about how to tell if you are toxic and also how to change.
Let’s begin with a definition. A toxic friend is one who drags down the people around them. They act negatively, and cause others to follow their behaviors. They are those who feel like psychic vampires: sucking the energy out of the room, they manage to bring down those around them.
Are you a toxic friend?
Do you…
- Judge others constantly, always assessing them as beneath you, including your friends?
- See the worst in others and fail to see any good whatsoever?
- Talk down yourself in the hopes others will give you positive attention?
- Manipulate others into doing actions they would not normally do, that will ultimately hurt them directly or indirectly?
- Hurt others by criticizing them, without providing a constructive reason for it?
If you answered yes to two or more of these, you may be a toxic friend.
How to change
If you have been ruled toxic by your own admittance, you have already complete the first step: awareness. You have now become aware of your own actions. Carry this step onward with you. Every time you do something, ask yourself something: Am I hurting somebody by doing this? If the answer is yes, I advise not doing it.
Another requirement to creating a change is to make a conscious effort to do something differently. That’s what change is: doing something differently. Commit yourself to becoming a better friend: one who will support others, be a positive influence, and live according to guiding principles that lead to a happy and kind life.
Always try to do for others what you want them to do for you. Never become greedy or manipulative. Periodically, review what you have done for others over the last week, month, or year. Ask yourself if you have given as much as you have taken. If you have, then you are on the right track. Become more selfless, although getting a benefit from altruistic actions is perfectly acceptable.
Once you have become aware and work on changing your actions, I guarantee you will see a positive change in your life. Others will begin to respect and enjoy being around you. They will know that you are looking out for their best interests. You will become a better person.
