One-Year Tightrope » Etiquette

Handling Obnoxious Coworkers, Part 1

Michael — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:23:05 +0000

Almost all people have to have jobs at some point in their lives. Similarly, almost all people working with others will face the occasional painful acquaintance: that person who thinks he’s hilarious, or pokes fun at others and causes emotional distress, or just cannot get things done. Coworkers can be some of the hardest people to be around, but unfortunately, many people spend a third or more of their days in close proximity. Handling obnoxious coworkers is a challenge, but it can be done with some practice and patience

The Comedian

Who they are: The Comedian is a problem because he or she often says things which are not terribly funny (or are at times inappropriate) and expects all others to “get” the humor. This can include sexist or racist (or other offensive-type) jokes, insulting remarks, sarcasm toward bosses or requests, and many other things. The offense comes when the jokes are inappropriate or not well received. Often, this person will become offended easily and throw a fit if somebody sets him or her straight.

How to deal: For the most part, ignoring is bliss. Do not laugh at his or her jokes, but do not roll your eyes either. Simply show no reaction and go about your business as usual. If he or she begins to pick on you directly, tell him or her you appreciate the gesture, but would prefer if you could just get back to work instead of chatting.

The Trickster

Who they are: The Trickster is similar to The Comedian, but the main difference is that tricksters prefer to perform practical jokes rather than cracking punchlines. These are the folks who will put tacks on your chair, plastic wrap over the toilet seat, and similar circa thirty-years-younger pranks.

How to deal: For the most part, there is no way to avoid pranks other than catching less attention than the people around you. Do not make yourself a victim. If they do decide to pick on you, take it with a good heart and ask them not to do so anymore. For some pranks, you may have to report them to your boss, especially if harm is caused.

The Crybaby

Who they are: The Crybaby is a person who whines about every single thing. They think the world is out to make their lives miserable, that you ask them to do things just so you can relax, and that they are certainly not in the wrong. Every chance they get, they will report to all listeners the trials of life.

How to deal: Like the Comedian, ignoring is your best bet. If you must say something, tactfully express your concern with their performance and suggest they find a hobby to blow off steam. Never encourage their outbursts with attention.

How do you deal with your obnoxious coworkers? Do you have any suggestions for how to avoid hazardous situations and decreased performance?

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Networking Like a Pro

Michael — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 16:06:08 +0000

As any businessperson knows, networking is one of, if not the most, important activities one can undergo for career expansion. Learning who’s who and mastering relationship-building can be the qualification that makes or breaks a person in today’s rapidly-changing and rapidly-judging world. Sorority alumnae know that they have much better job prospects right out of college because of who they knew while taking classes – not how well they did. This article is about how to network like a professional – one of those people who always knows everybody, even before meeting them.

There is one main point you must know, and that is to always be networking. Every single conversation, hand-raising, sharing of personal experience, and discussion (or debate) must have networking at the primary goal.

Be Task-Oriented

Keep thinking that the point of every conversation is to build your network in some way. Perhaps you drop your career or new projects in conversations if you think they are relevant. Be sure to find out who else the person to whom you are talking knows, and address them later if you would like, opening the conversation with, “I spoke with your friend [John Smith] and he [or she] recommended you to me. Hi, I’m…”

Remember Your Manners

The key point of the above paragraph is to keep it relevant. To break this rule is to become rude. Also, always keep an open mind. While argument is allowed, sarcasm of closed-minded, blatant ignorance is not. Support your side fairly but also hear out the opposition, and you will make a friend. Remember: if you wouldn’t say it to your mother, don’t say it to anybody else.

Ask for Recommendations

If you have a problem or a solution you think may interest friends-of-friends, feel free to bring it up and ask the other half of the conversation whether he or she knows anybody who may be interested or who can help. This is a quick and easy way of building your network from just friends to including acquaintances and relevant strangers (which is suspiciously similar to a mailing list, only with a better chance of success as people like faces).

Say “Yes” Accordingly

If you receive an offer or are asked to perform a service, be sure to agree to it then and there if you ever plan to at all. Do not check your schedule. Do not say, “I’ll let you know.” I know from experience that people forget and get too busy. Make an obligation or tell them, “I’m sorry, but I have been very busy and will not have time to help you with this right now. You can try John Smith, or you can get back to me in a month when life has slowed down.”

It gets easier…

As you continue to network, networking gets easier. If you have built up rapport with your audience and you have a reputation worth spreading, people will begin to do your work for you, so long as you have not broken any of these rules. Expect to get calls from people who were recommended by friends-of-friends and people with whom you have never even spoke.

What are your tips for networking? How do you do it? Do you see the advantages – the greatness of your labor coming to fruition?

Balanced Business: Marketing vs. Networking Many marketers will tell you the key to having a...

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Career Pro-tip: Send a Thank You Note

Michael — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:44:00 +0000

These days, etiquette does not mean much to the average person, especially in America. No longer are the days of holding open doors, saying, “please” and, “thank you,” nor does addressing a man as “Sir” show respect, but rather an aging judgment. Because of this, potential employers will have the pants shocked off of them when you send a thank you note.

I will be following this post with a complete how-to guide on the art of the thank you note in the short future. Until then, tell me: do you send thank you notes to all those who have helped you or, in this case, given you the chance to showcase yourself?

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Why Etiquette Matters

Michael — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:56:24 +0000

This blog is firstly about balanced living, which includes being courteous and polite with others. As such, before I begin talking about how to live using manners, I believe it is necessary to explain why it is necessary first.

Etiquette matters because it is what keeps us from harming each other. Regardless of religion (or lack thereof), all should believe that humans have a responsibility to treat others well and take care of their neighbors. Not believing such makes one a sociopath.

We show this respect – this love – through using kind manners. You don’t have to memorize fan language (heaven knows this is ridiculous and outdated these days), but should learn what other people appreciate, what they dislike, what they are just okay with, and what topics are not up for discussion.

As an example, say you miss class because you are not feeling well. A friend calls to make sure you’re okay. You have two choices:

Say, “I have stuff coming out of both ends.”
Say, “I am not feeling well, but I will be okay. Thank you for asking.”

Which do you suppose will keep your friendship at a reasonable level?

Now say you have missed a class because you wanted to leave early for whatever reason. Again, you have two choices when somebody calls:

Say, “I really hate that class and decided to skip out.”
Say, “I did not wish to stay, but I am fine. Thank you.”

The former will lead to either a lie or trouble with the professor, should questions arise. The latter will end questions, so long as your friend is as courteous as you. As an aside, it is always rude to leave class early.

While etiquette may seem like a foreign language to you right now, I assure it will become easier over time. Your first assignment, due when I share my next lesson in etiquette, is to think of why etiquette is important and share it in the comments section below.

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