I want to fight this, though. I want to see the world with more self-control – to know somebody out there is able to control himself long enough to finish a sentence. This article is about increasing self-control.

For many, self-control is an art known only by those living Ancients – those old souls who have maintained their balance through the test of time. False. There is no exclusivity for self-control, nor will a mental disorder like ADHD prevent one from developing it. Perhaps the journey will be more difficult, but you will be all the better for it.

Begin by defining what self-control means to you. Prepare a test of whether or not you have accomplished your goal. Perhaps doing all homework in one sitting or before beginning play time is your mission, or perhaps even doing homework at all is sufficient. Whatever it is, know what your aim is.

Try this exercise: Turn off the television. Focus on a single point – it could be a spot on the wall you have been meaning to clean. Stare at this point and allow your mind to go blank. Do not think about cleaning. Do not look away. Do not close your eyes. Do not think about the spot. Merely look at the spot.

Do this until you cannot possibly stand it anymore. This exercise is called meditation and it is the secret Buddhist monks have been using for centuries. They learn to control their minds because they know that the mind is the most important part of the self, and being able to blank yourself at will is a sign of discipline.

Once you are capable of meditating at will, it is time to move along to something more: achieving your goal. Set yourself a deadline or prepare an "or else" qualification. For example, "I will finish my homework, or I will not watch television."

Now do it. Do what you have been avoiding.

If for some reason you are not perfect, this will not happen easily. There is another secret, though it is from psychologists: bribery. Condition yourself to do what needs doing by giving yourself either a reward or a punishment. If you finish your homework, let yourself do something fun. If you fail to do your homework, ground yourself from television from a week. The punishment itself will take some self-control to enact, so I have little faith anybody will pull it off on the first try. It will take practice, but it is doable.

There are rules for rewards, though. First, do nothing to contradict your goal that could lead into a bad habit. Do not reward yourself with food, because it leads to an addiction. Do not punish yourself by taking away the computer if you are a student and you have essays to write. Do not reward avoiding television by allowing yourself to watch television.

Have you established control over yourself? What were your tricks for developing this kind of relationship with yourself?

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