Unfortunately, there are some people around who are toxic. Many of us end up befriending a toxic person at one time or another, even going so far as to marry them occasionally. They usually cannot tell that they are negatively affecting those around them. Rarely, people will call them on their behaviors and effect a positive change. Most of the time, however, they will continue living without a clue as to how badly they are acting.

If you are concerned you may be a toxic friend, then this is the guide to read. I will talk about how to tell if you are toxic and also how to change.

Let’s begin with a definition. A toxic friend is one who drags down the people around them. They act negatively, and cause others to follow their behaviors. They are those who feel like psychic vampires: sucking the energy out of the room, they manage to bring down those around them.

Are you a toxic friend?

Do you…

• Judge others constantly, always assessing them as beneath you, including your friends?
• See the worst in others and fail to see any good whatsoever?
• Talk down yourself in the hopes others will give you positive attention?
• Manipulate others into doing actions they would not normally do, that will ultimately hurt them directly or indirectly?
• Hurt others by criticizing them, without providing a constructive reason for it?

If you answered yes to two or more of these, you may be a toxic friend.

How to change

If you have been ruled toxic by your own admittance, you have already complete the first step: awareness. You have now become aware of your own actions. Carry this step onward with you. Every time you do something, ask yourself something: Am I hurting somebody by doing this? If the answer is yes, I advise not doing it.

Another requirement to creating a change is to make a conscious effort to do something differently. That’s what change is: doing something differently. Commit yourself to becoming a better friend: one who will support others, be a positive influence, and live according to guiding principles that lead to a happy and kind life.

Always try to do for others what you want them to do for you. Never become greedy or manipulative. Periodically, review what you have done for others over the last week, month, or year. Ask yourself if you have given as much as you have taken. If you have, then you are on the right track. Become more selfless, although getting a benefit from altruistic actions is perfectly acceptable.

Once you have become aware and work on changing your actions, I guarantee you will see a positive change in your life. Others will begin to respect and enjoy being around you. They will know that you are looking out for their best interests. You will become a better person.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Setting Goals

First, let us establish what is meant by setting goals. A goal is an aim; any time you want to accomplish something, that is a goal. Goals drive actions in meaningful directions and moderate tasks associated with going about one’s day. Setting goals is a process during which one sits down and thinks about every that must or should be accomplished in order to become happier. Goals are end-oriented, rather than being concerned with the path. As such, they can often end with frustration and little progress, unless one takes the necessary extra steps to lay out a chain of actions.

Setting priorities

Priorities are different from goals once the surface has been scratched. Priorities are any and all important things come to mind. If it is important, it is a priority. A goal would be to own a house by 2020. A priority would be providing a safe and stable environment for one’s family.

Another difference is the priorities are not end-oriented. Priorities have no ending, except for death or a change of heart. When one has a priority, it is an on-going task with which one keeps up – something maintained, kept afloat throughout life.

Priorities and goals both drive actions, but do so in different ways.

How to set priorities

First, get into a relaxed state and clear your mind of the day’s influences.

Next, think about what is important to you. Do you want a safe environment? Do you want to get to self-actualization on Maslow’s hierarchy? Write it down.

Finally, considering everything, decide an order of focus. What is the most important to you, and what is the least? Consider these categories: Physical, Mental, Financial, Spiritual, Emotional. Try to have only one highest priority in each, or you may become overwhelmed with the task at hand. Also, try to focus on one category while keeping all in somewhat close balance. Focus efforts, but never let the other weights drop.

Related posts:

1. How to Do a Year-End Review Any regular reader of the One-Year Tightrope and all who...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Image via Wikipedia

In adopting a new lifestyle, we also shed old activities and adopt new ones. Taking from Stephen Covey’s self-help series, I am here to address the six habits of balanced people – what they do daily to strive for their goals and maintain a happy and healthy life.

They plan ahead

Balanced people know where they are going and where they have come from. They can tell you where they will be in twenty years with the strongest conviction you have ever seen. They have goals and everything they do is a step toward one or another.

They are motivated

They know where to find motivation and how important it is to their success. They never have writers’ block because they can write about anything and everything. They want to succeed and they do, because they have the skills and knowledge necessary to accomplish anything. Those they do not already possess they will learn.

They learn daily

They are constantly on a question for personal development and growth and every day, they accomplish or work on mastering something, even if it’s as small as plucking a few keys on the piano. They keep moving because they know idle hands are not productive. Even their down time means something to them, keeping busy by being laid back and calming down after a long working period.

They are patient

They know that good things come to those who work and wait. They strive for goals, but they know that instant gratification is only another way to become a glutton. You can throw any wait at them and there they will sit, perhaps accomplishing something or another in the mean time, perhaps meditating. Either way, they can and will wait for anything good to come.

They work while they wait

Whether waiting for a bus or waiting for an opportunity to open, they know there are things to be accomplished. They work on these things while they wait patiently for whatever it is they need to move along to the next step. Balanced, successful people are those you see reading books at bus stops, organizing the kitchen while they bake, and meditating when the electricity goes out.

They are organized

Not only are their homes simple and free of clutter, but their minds are, as well. They do everything with a purpose and ensure their steps are always in the right direction. Remember: reaching success is not about who takes the most steps, but rather who steps with the most accuracy.

While not everybody will reach a balanced lifestyle – few people will ever even try with reasonable effort – many can learn from those who set a positive example. It is possible to learn by observation, and that is what should be done in this situation. You do not have to seek out a Yogi, but do have a few positive examples in your life of how you want to live. Good luck, as always.

Related posts:

1. The Art of Balanced Intelligence Image via Wikipedia According to popular psychology, there are nine...
2. What Balance Means to Me Image by Pink Sherbet Photography via Flickr The main goal...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.